Suspension of Belief: Ongoing Adventures in the Unknown Zone

"Belief is powerful indeed. The thoughts you hold are mighty, and illusions are as strong in their effects as is the truth." ACIM

All right folks, I have some questions:

·      Just because we might have had dreams when we were young and those dreams didn’t come true, were the dreams themselves any less real then the “reality “ we created?

·      Does reality have to be bad or less wonderful than illusion?  If so, why?

·      Why is happiness thought to be just a momentary event?

·      Why is it that the person who was broke and wins the lottery often ends up just as broke as before?

·      Why is it, when someone comes up with a crazy, but brilliant idea, they are told to “get real”?

Wouldn’t it be great to write a screenplay of our lives that would have the audience gasping at the amazing vistas and crying with the setbacks? In my movie, an event would happen at this precise moment that would create an action that would propel me beyond my state of sorrow to heights only dreamed of. The music would shift from boding drama to uplifting fight back music to poignant victory music.  Yes, my movie would have a brilliant sound track.  But…. that is just make believe, just an illusion. Or is it?

We spend most of our lives believing that what we see, feel and experience outside of us is real and that what we see, feel and experience within ourselves is unreal. When I was young my Mother was worried that I was a “dreamer” and because of that I would not amount to much and ultimately I would need to marry well. I kid you not :)  As a result, I buried the dreamer, disavowing her, disowning her and ignoring her.  Ironically, I turned to books.  Instead of laying on my back in the grass and dreaming story after story of amazing future adventures in my life, I would fall into another world written by another person. My mother approved of reading, as it seemed more studious and real. The plotlines weren’t that much different than my made up stories but because they didn’t come from within me, just the action of reading from a book seemed more real and perhaps more helpful in creating a real life.  

Some more questions:

·      Why is it so hard for me to dream again?

·      Am I too old or too tired to be a creator of dreams?

·      What if I just don’t have anything to say that anyone wants to hear?

·      What if my only talent is to read words that someone else has written?

·      What if I fail?

In June, I gave myself 6 months to re-define, re-assess and re-design my mission in life. Since then I have been rigorously challenging my ideas about this person I have accepted as myself and rethinking the idea of how the 3^rd act of my life will unfold.  As with any journey, I have experienced amazing vistas and frustrating, challenging setbacks.  Even as I write this I am facing some disconcerting circumstances.  I am literally and figuratively in suspension.  Not that I am not doing anything.  I get up every day and network, talk to people, rethink my business and breathe.  I think I am doing all the right things.  I am just suspended between what was and what is to come.  I am in that place between the reality of my past and the dream of what could be.  And I ask myself…..do I have what it takes to believe that what is within me is reality and what is outside of me is just an illusion created by old beliefs?

Here is what I believe is true. I desire that today, tomorrow and all my future days are filled with joy, light and love. I know that as a connector of people my mission in life is to work with seekers and teachers alike so that they may find the messages they need to hear and to communicate.  I have more blessings than I can count and among them are my children, my grandson and all my friends.  I thank you all for being on the journey with me. I still have a journey of a little over 2 months to complete my mission of redefining the essence of who I am. Then again, perhaps it will never be complete.