The other day I went to my mailbox to see what was waiting for me. A check perhaps? No, what I found was an over sized post card selling me hearing aides and a mailing from the Dignity Memorial people hoping that I will do my end of life planning with them at their convenient location in Boulder.
I have nothing against hearing aides or end of life planning. My kids can rest easy knowing that my "final expenses" are covered. Those aren't my words, but I think I saw an ad on TV suggesting that my kids should be relieved of that burden.
I don't get a lot of mail and when I do it is mostly bills and work related materials. That is OK. But somehow I have gotten onto a "senior citizen" list. Am I a senior citizen already? When exactly did that happen?
When I look in a mirror I clearly see that I am not 30 or 40 anymore. I am very aware that I am a few birthdays past the big Five O. Not a problem. I don't even mind when my daughter tells me that I drive like a senior citizen. By the way, she could not clarify exactly what it was about my driving that seemed particularly "seniorish". If you are going to make the claim, you better be able to follow up with specifics. After all my aging brain might have trouble with nuance.
I do know that with each passing day, the grim reaper hovers ever closer. But listen up folks, I feel great! I am active and happy. My hearing is fine. I don't need Depends. I can get in and out of my bathtub without trouble. I don't need a HoveRound scooter. I really don't think I need Life Alert quite yet. I have a few more good years left in these old bones.
Beware, all you corporate marketer's eager to add me to your list! I am spending my money LIVING my life. I buy good food and great wine to consume with my loved ones. I love books, music, travel, and shoes! Send me stuff about that. I will throw the rest away.
Thank goodness you're still vital, Mom! We want you with us always...and we will even after you go(stuffed in the corner for eternity). Throw it all away. Except the one for the "rascal" because I may want to borrow it. And don't worry, you have a couple of years left to drive before I revoke your license. When that happens, I promise to hire you a driver! xo
ReplyDeleteI second the Hover Round! I know you're not there yet, but I get dibs on first ride when you do find that you need it. Although that won't happen for a very long time.
ReplyDeleteThey should be sending you offers for chocolate-of-the-month club! Thanks for keeping it real and VITAL!
ReplyDeleteJaya, I clearly see that "getting old" is yet another stupid belief system that makes many people an awful lot of money that I simply can't afford because I'm too busy spending it on black leather for the Harley and college tuition! I think we've got it figured out just right, girlfriend; keep up the great work--you never cease to inspire me!
ReplyDeleteI had a roommate when I was about 19, her name was Margaret, and we would get mail addressed to Bernadette & Margaret to come check out thier assisted living facilites. I don't know where these people get their lists, but I do know their target marketing has a small bullseye and a large outter ring!
ReplyDelete